Sometimes I get sick of writing about stupid cancer. So today I thought it would be fun for a change to tell some of my favorite stories about Jared.
Jared is such a funny person! But he's not loud and obnoxious, he's actually pretty quiet and reserved. But I hear the same thing over and over from everyone that knows him... He's one of the funniest people they've ever met!
He's also really bright. He's one of those people that knows a lot about a lot. He also has a great ability to reason through problems to figure out the right answer. When we were first married and both in college, we were both getting a degree in business, but I was ahead of him in school. So I had already taken many of the classes that he was taking. And because I had taken them, I knew how hard they were and it would stress me out that he would leave all of his studying until last minute!!! I would always tell him that I had taken the class, that it wasn't one of those classes you can cram the studying in last minute, but he would anyway. And he would ALWAYS pull a higher grade than I did! Some of the classes he would take online, so he wouldn't do anything at all until a couple days before the semester was ending. Even the most flunked classes in the business department, he would cram everything last second and still pull out an A- or B+.
As I said before, Jared is pretty quiet and reserved. When we got married, his sister would always ask me if my family knew the REAL Jared. For the first couple years, the answer was no. It took a couple years for him to warm up and start showing his true personality around them.
So what is his true personality? I will share a couple of my favorite stories.
Jared got through college working at a place called Convergys. It was an inbound call center, and the workers would answer phone calls from angry Sprint cell phone customers. Most people (myself included) only lasted a couple months. It was miserable work! But Jared didn't mind it. In fact, he always told me the angrier the customer, the better. He had figured out whether his calls were being monitored or not. So he usually had fun with it. For example, he told me a lady called in and told him she was mad her phone was turned off, and that she "wanted something did about it!" He replied, "Ma'am, you mean you want something DONE about it?" She would say, "That's right!! I want something DID about it!" He would correct her again by saying, "You mean you want something DONE about it." She never caught on.
But my favorite phone conversation that he told me about was a guy who was so mad that he told Jared if he didn't get the cell phone turned back on immediately, he would take the phone and shove it up his A$%!!! And Jared calmly replied, "Well, sir, I'm pretty sure that would void out your warranty!"
The next story is another college experience. In the winters, the Utah State campus would get icy. Especially right outside the business building. He had stuffed his pockets one morning with Starburst to eat during class. He walked over an ice patch, and his feet flew up and he fell hard. (And I should add that he's 6'6" so it's a LONG fall for him!) He said that the Starburst flew everywhere, and that the people around him started scrambling to pick up the Starburst to hand to him. He said he was humiliated!
This next story is probably my favorite of all of them. And once again, it was while we were in college. We had won a dinner with an older couple at a church activity we had attended. (Weird prize, I know. And I can't say either of us were real excited to go.) A couple days later Jared told me that the lady had called and asked if there was anything either of us couldn't eat, and he panicked and told her that I was allergic to seafood, because he HATES seafood. I didn't think much of it, because usually when you tell someone not to make seafood, they drop the issue altogether and make something completely different. But the lady called me a few days later, and told me she was aware that I was allergic to seafood, but she wondered about fish. I was trying not to make her feel bad, so I told her fish was fine. Jared overheard me and started waving his arms and whispering "No! Not fish!!! Tell her no!" So I said that some fish was fine, but others upset my stomach. So she asked, "What about salmon?" I told her salmon was fine. I actually hate salmon, but again, I didn't want her to feel bad. When I got off the phone, Jared was furious that I had agreed to salmon. I told him he was just going to have to choke it down. So we were both DREADING the dinner party. When we showed up, they had us come to the table, and for the appetizer she had prepared SHRIMP CHOWDER!!! And because I was "allergic" to it, I didn't have to eat it. That was probably the hardest I've ever had to hold in my laughter, watching Jared choke down not only his salmon, but his shrimp chowder! When we got home I called my sister to tell her what had happened, and I was laughing so hard I couldn't get the story out!
Every year my family goes to Bear Lake for a few days for a Family Reunion. The guys usually go golfing so much that it starts to make all the wives mad. The year that my sister got divorced, the guys half-jokingly had a "moment of silence" on the golf course for her ex-husband. When they were done golfing, my brothers were trying to extend it another 9 holes and Jared told them that if he golfed another 9 holes, they would be having a "moment of silence" for him the following year!
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| Golfing at Bear Lake 2009 |
This next story is one that I had to get the "okay" to tell. But again, it was so funny that I was crying laughing when he told me. Jared's chemo would make him really constipated. So he would sometimes go a few days and get really "plugged up." A few months ago, he had gotten off of his chemo, and he was working when his body was ready to "unplug." So he went into the bathroom, and his favorite, big stall was taken, so he wanted to wait for it to be open. But when he got back to his desk, he realized he didn't have much time, so he rushed back to the bathroom and had to use the smaller stall. He told me that basically five days worth came out at once, and it didn't smell great! A couple of his co-workers opened the bathroom door and both yelled in disgust at the same time and immediately shut the door. He said he heard one of them say, "Something VERY UNPLEASANT just happened in there!!" He was paranoid the rest of the day that the smell was lingering on him.
